Who Am I?

Recently (in the last few weeks) I went driving down to the shops (something I have to do much more often than I would choose to do) I asked myself, “who am I?” and I answered myself, “I am a child of God!” And it felt sooooo good!!

So I said out loud to myself all the way down to the shops, “I am a child of God!” I told it to myself while I was shopping and I shopped with a smile on my face. Even now, weeks later it still feels just as good and brings a smile to my face, and a few goosebumps too!

I am a child of God! I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come!! And I am free!!! I feel it too, somehow lighter, somehow newer, somehow freer. And it’s totally awesome.

Anyway, I’ve finished reading ‘Captivating’ now, although my journey through its pages are far from over. As mentioned in some other post, I have purchased the guided journal and will be working through it with two other women. But this post isn’t about my journey through ‘Captivating’ so much, it’s more about how reading it has bought “spiritual warfare” to the forefront of our lives. I have just finished reading another book called ‘The Beginner’s Guide to Spiritual Warfare’ by Neil T.Anderson & Timothy M.Warner – that’s been a bit of an eye opener too! Not as heart-wrenching as ‘Captivating’ – fortunately, because I don’t think I could handle too many more of those.

So much stuff to assimilate – it’s almost information overload, I think sometimes my brain does kinda shut down, but my spirit is hungry for more. Really hungry. I devoured that book. And to be honest I don’t understand it all of it, but, my spirit is soaking it in, and I know that although my brain may not have got it all, it’s there and as I reread the stuff I will understand it more.

Anyway, in it the authors mentioned a list, ‘Who I am in Christ’, apparently it’s rather well known. I’ve seen it before, in the last year, but I hadn’t paid much attention to it. I’m paying a lot more attention now! I read through the list a lot, but not as much as I would like, sometimes I’ll go days without looking at it, and sometimes when I’m reading the list there is this little thought in the back of my mind going “yeah, yeah. It’s not really true, you’re not really free and God doesn’t really love you that much…” And I think that’s why sometimes I don’t read the list or the daily prayer in ‘Captivating’ – and as I write this, I know that these thoughts are more of the devil’s lies.

It’s just that these are the type of thoughts I’ve grown up with and they are very hard to shake, and sometimes, when I’m really upset (mostly coz I’ve just gone screaming meamie at one of the kids) I believe them, they feel true and real, like haven’t I just proven it with the way I just behaved? They’re comfortable thoughts, even though they’re horrible. They’re familiar.

I know when I am in this type of funk that I should be fighting these thoughts. I recognise them as the lies the devil wants me to believe, but I have found a few times that in the midst of emotional turmoil, I cannot come against them. Sometimes I try and the words just falter because my mind is screaming things like, “how can you say that after what you just did?!” Other times I don’t even try because I just can’t believe them, claiming the promises – “I am a child of God, I am a saint, I am free from condemnation…” feels more like lies than the ugly thoughts in my head. I can’t say them, they don’t feel true.

Generally, after I have calmed down, I can come against the thoughts that have been in my head. But, I’m realising, as I write this, that if I don’t come against these thoughts as they are happening then, I have lost the battle! Even though I pick up the pieces and “deal” with it, I’ve still lost. If I am to win this battle then I must fight it as it is happening. I need to take those thoughts captive, reject them and state the truth of who I am in Christ. I need to stand up and fight. When I don’t, it takes me down and I’ll be mildly depressed. Even as I write this, I am suffering from the effects of yesterday where I didn’t fight at the time, I just dealt with it afterwards.

I guess as well this is another tactic of the devil and his demons, making the truth feel and sound like lies to me, so I can’t bring myself to say it, while the lies feel right and I let them wash over me and I drown in them. I think, for me to be able to win these battles, I really need to memorise this list and the scriptures as well as having the list accessible in lots of different places – different rooms in the house (toilet, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen), in my purse, in the car…

Anyway, below is an example of some of the true statements on the list.

I Am Accepted
John 1:12 – I am God’s child.
Ephesians 1:1 – I am a saint.
Colossians 1:14 – I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

I Am Secure
Romans 8:12 – I am free from condemnation.
Romans 8:35-39 – I cannot be separated from the love of God.
Philippians 3:20 – I am a citizen of Heaven.
1 John 5:18 – I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.

I Am Significant
Matthew 5:13,14 – I am the salt and light of the earth.
John 15:16 – I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
Ephesians 2:6 – I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realm.
Ephesians 3:12 – I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

For a more complete list, get the book. Not only does it have the list, it has heaps of information to go with it. I have only read ‘The Beginner’s Guide to Spiritual Warfare’ so far, but we now have heaps of other books by Neil T. Anderson – ‘Living Free in Christ’ (I have just started this one – it is the ‘Who I Am In Christ’ list expanded with scripture and information explaining each statement – it’s very good), ‘Walking in the Light’ (which follows on from ‘Living Free in Christ’), ‘Victory Over the Darkness’, ‘Bondage Breaker’ and ‘Spiritual Protection for your Children’ (co-authored with Pete & Sue Vanderhook). I have a lot of reading ahead of me!

So, who am I?

I am a Child of God!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *